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Stopping your own success

I ran across this article yesterday from Inc. Magazine titled “5 Toxic Beliefs That Ruin Careers“.

Well, that’ll stop any professional and make them click to the full article. At first thought I figured the beliefs would be believing salary equals power, trusting no one can give your proper feedback, assuming that working the longest hours produces the best work…things along those lines.

I was extremely surprise by the listed beliefs, and this article really made me think about my own attitude towards my career.

(This list was originally posted by Inc. on June 11, 2012)

  1. My self-worth is based on what others think of me.
  2. My past equals my future
  3. My destiny is controlled by the supernatural
  4. My emotions accurately reflect objective reality.
  5. My goal is to be perfect or do something perfectly.

As a young professional slowly figuring out world and defining my goals every year – I needed to hear some things on this list. Three items really struck a chord with me.

1: My self-worth is based on what others think of me (remember, this is a TOXIC belief so the correct statement is “me self-worth is NOT based on what others think of me”).
-I think that in our society today it’s disgustingly easy to compare yourself with other people. And unfortunately, comparing skills and talent usually falls behind looks, fashion and over-all personality. It can be extremely intimidating finding your way in a new environment/culture when you don’t feel worthy. And sadly, in today’s world, we put so much emphasis on networking and connections. If the right people don’t like you or support your  career, it may take longer to accomplish your goals.

5: My goal is to be perfect or do something perfectly
– Yikes. This one really made me think. I will shout it from the mountaintops, I am a perfectionist. I like things organized and with matching colors. If I write a press release, a blog post or an article – I want it to perfect. BUT, as this article says, perfection isn’t real. You can strive to excel and be the best, but you will fail, constantly fail, if you are always striving for perfection. Find a happy, middle ground. 

3: My destiny is controlled by the supernatural.
-Again, because this is a belief is toxic, the article states that “destiny is not controlled my the supernatural.” I believe, and disbelieve, the statement (Everyone prepare themselves — I am going to talk about RELIGION!!). I think that God has a plan for everything and things will ALWAYS workout, but that is supported by handwork and dedication. You are not simply handed things as free gifts. I really liked that this article talked about luck and how that does not play into your life. I’m not embarrassed to admit this, ok, maybe slightly, but I do get excited when I see my lucky number. But at the end of the day – a number/sign in the sky doesn’t mean anything. You make you’re own luck.

 

As always – thanks for any feedback and comments!

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Things to (make sure I) know before I’m 30

We’ve all seen the Glamour article (well, at least a lot of the girls have read it).

It talks about boyfriends, bosses, dates, dumping, pride and purses – “30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She’s 30″. In was originally published in 1997 and still circulates around magazines and the web today! It was turned into a book featuring essays from famous woman (some a little famous, some a lot famous) that continues to see today.

Last month I saw an article tweeted about what you should know before you’re 25 and blogged about my thoughts. I am proud to say at the ripe ol’ age of 22, I am crossing things off that list!

I found this Huffington Post article a few weeks ago that talks about the Glamour list and wanted to share it on my blog. As a woman I couldn’t agree more… and this gives me some things to work towards in the next eight years.

Glamour’s “30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She’s 30” 

1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.

2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.

3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.

4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.

5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.

6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.

7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age — and some money set aside to help fund it.

8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account — all of which nobody has access to but you.

9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.

10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.

11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.

12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.

13. The belief that you deserve it.

14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.

15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.
By 30, you should know …

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.

2. How you feel about having kids.

3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

4. When to try harder and when to walk away.

5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.

6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.

7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.

8. Where to go — be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat — when your soul needs soothing.

9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.

10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.

11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.

12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.

13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.

14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.

15. Why they say life begins at 30

So I’ll admit, I’m working on the address that’s just mine, the decent piece of furniture not owned my mom and dad, the suitcase and the retirement fund. Well, actually my suitcase is just fine – but I think it would be cool to have a complete set (not a random piece given to my by the mercy of my parents). I would also like to know if the “ridiculously expensive” item I am to buy because I deserve it, needs to pass the dad approval test…because, if not, I think I deserve some more Burberry in my closet. Right? Ok, I’ll save my next splurge for a kick-butt power suit… perfect when I am conquering the business world.
And who are we fooling? My important mail still goes to my parents’ house. I don’t really know (yet) how to quit a job or ask for raise, and I apologize way too often for my own good. BUT this list shows me that I am maturing and finding my way.
I may not know how I feel about kids right now, but I don’t have to decide today, or tomorrow, or in one year. However, it is something that I will need to really start to contemplate in the next few years. I am figuring out my relationship with my family, friends and with my boyfriend. Even better, I am learning that I can do things alone. I ran the Capital City Half-Marathon by myself (and a few great supporters at mile 11 and the finish line) and I am get myself up, ready and to work/gym/friends’ houses on-time. Slowly learning what it is like to be a “grown-up”.It can be easy to want to call someone when life gets tough – and you’re allowed to ask for help. But, you need to know who is the right person to call and that no matter what, you could take care of a situation by yourself.
Here are five things I think should be added to the above list:
  1. If a car gets you from Point A to Point B – you’re lucky
  2. Not having fabulous weekend plans is ok (every now and then)
  3. It doesn’t matter the size of the clothes you’re wearing. Squeezing yourself into a size 0 doesn’t make you look skinny
  4. Brands are simply brands – there is more to life than comparing labels and designers. Keep clothes pressed and clean
  5. No matter what, life goes on

Résumé – life on paper

I received the biggest complement the other day – a friend emailed and asked me to look over her résumé. Not a huge deal, but I’m always sending my résumé to my contacts it’s nice  to have someone ask for your feedback.

Resumes matter! And in my opinion, they need to be flexible works of “art”. This is a single piece of paper that represents YOU – those years of college, internships, co-ops, classes, projects, clubs, volunteering – everything one a piece of paper.

It can be hard to stand out from your competition, but if formatted correctly, can be accomplished. To have a great resume you need to spend quality time really deciding what is important and what needs to be highlight. Is this job looking for experience? Skills? Volunteering? Relevant course work?

There is no perfect example and every leader/contact you have review your résumé will focus on something different, but there are a few golden guidelines to follow. (Again, resume are flexible – which is these are only guidelines. My five tips are consistent with what I’ve experienced myself and advice I’ve received from teachers, employers and mentors.

One sheet. One. Not two, not one and a half, one. Yes, you have lots of experience and tons of things to say about each internship…but as a young professional stick to ONE PAGE. When we have a few years of work under our belt maybe we can grow to two pages, but for now it should stay at one.

Keep it clean, keep it precise. While we want to touch on everything we’ve ever done and make sure our possible employer knows how awesome we are – it’s easy to cram in unnecessary information. Leave some things to be discussed in the cover letter and in the interview. It’s a fine line between too much white space and not enough, but it’ll feel right when you find balance. Don’t make your potential employer dig through an ocean of type and words to find out the needed information. I also thing leaving off an objective helps. Use that space for something else!

No random “action words” or numbers. Again, a fine line, but one that needs to be considered. As college students and young grads we constantly hear to have strong words and as many numbers as possible, but don’t throw them in for fun. Employers know when it’s just BS and that’ll put your resume into the trash. Print out a draft and really see where you can highlight budgets, impact, number of people you led, ect.

Review and revise. Typos can lose you a job. This is one of that hardest things for me, which is why having several pairs of eyes read your résumé is fantastic. After staring at your computer screen for hours you may not catch that silly typo or frustrating auto-correct, but it doesn’t matter to an employer. A mistake is a mistake, and getting careless could be what puts your résumé at the bottom of the pile.

– Have more that one resume. It’s great to have a base then tailor your résumé for specific jobs. I love reading descriptions and really trying to figure out what each job wants. Are they looking for writing experience? Or perhaps social media? Maybe they want leadership examples from different clubs. Find out what a job is looking for and then show that company you are the perfect fit.

I hope my hints helped! Resume are always growing and changing – the more people you have look over them the better. Each revision makes you improve and makes your résumé stronger.

What are your tips for resumes?

Thanks for reading!

2011 blogging in review

My first year of blogging – pretty proud of myself. Now I know how to improve for 2012! Scroll through to see my entire review…

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 4,700 times in 2011. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 4 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Grown up classes, please?

Mortgages, health insurance, 401(K)s, house payments, saving and retirement. All normal “adult” things in life. I’ve heard about them through out my high-school and college education, and now as a post-grad I would like to say one thing – I understand VERY little.

The secret is out! If you came up to me and started discussing benefit packages and 401(K)s I wouldn’t be able to contribute to the conversation.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the core basics, but I don’t understand the topics to the full extent. Worse part, it’s starting to matter. I’m reaching the point in life where I am preparing to remove myself from my parents’ insurance and cell phone plan, begin paying for all of my car insurance and establish my credit.

I’ll be the first to admit it, I am extremely blessed with such incredible support from my parents. There allowed me to graduate college without debt and encouraged me to follow my dreams of participating in the Walt Disney World College Program. They pay for 1/2 my insurance and my cell phone (which, I would like to say I am the only 22-year-old without a smart phone) and help me with my finances. The only thing I paid for in college and now in Orlando is gas, groceries, 1/2 of my insurance, miscellaneous bills and fun spending money.

Great. So I am the girl trying to leave the nest with a college education, my polished resume (thanks to seminars and advisors), my life goals and determination.

Where do you learn the rest?! Where in life do you finally look in the mirror and tell yourself that it’s time to cut all the cords from your parents?

This summer I made the 1st step, I acquired my own credit card. Look out world, I’m working on obtaining that perfect three digit number. However, the process wasn’t easy. It reminded me of my freshman year of college: how to you obtain credit if you have no credit? The banks know when you’re on your on your parents’ plan that it isn’t really you paying the bills … and I have never bought a  car and have no loans. So after a meeting with my bank to explain that I did in fact have an income, and a quick review of both mine AND my parents’ relationships with the bank, I became the proud owner of my own credit card.

Again, trying to cut the ties with my parents and become a “grown up”, but needing their help all along the way.

So when am I old enough to know the secret handshake for the grown-up club?  I want to know about investing in the stock market, having a good lawyer, an appropriate APR and buying my first house. How do you learn these things? Is it by trial-and-error? Because in this economy, financial mistakes can become very costly. I’ve heard you should start saving for  retirement in your early 20s, but how exactly do you begin?

I know how to budget a small income on silly and some-what needed things – but how do you cross the bridge of obtaining a salaried job and budgeting for house-payments, cell phone bills, groceries and everything else?

In high-school I thought I knew it all and it college I thought I was learning it all – now barely dipping my toe into adult-hood, I know I still have so, so much more to learn.

Thanks for reading! I would love all  thoughts and opinions.

“Distance means so little when someone means so much”

This morning I dropped my boyfriend off at the airport to head back to Ohio after four fun-filled days in Orlando.

We hopped around some magical parks, ate at fantastic restaurants, saw beautiful fireworks and traveled around the world at Epcot’s Food and Wine Festival. It was a perfect five days and over way too quickly. Before I could blink, it was time to head back to the airport.

This is the second time I’ve embarked on a long distance relationship – the first occurring my freshman year of college. As much as I’d like to tell you that I was the mature woman I am today at the tender age of 18, I think we all know that is far from the truth. I grew both mentally and spiritually during my four years of college, so I feel that my relationship now is completely different.

Long distance.  Whooole lot of meaning packed inside two small words. Long distance can meet from Ohio State University to a branch campus, Columbus to Cincinnati, Ohio to Florida, Alabama to Florida and so many more. Trust me, between my myself, my friends and my new roomies have lived through it all.

We are trying to overcome not only miles between the ones we love – but also leaving a boyfriend/girlfriend in an old environment and entering a new situation. It’s hard when my boyfriend is now in a “big-boy” job and no longer living on campus while I’m over 1000 miles away in Florida. My roommate is also seeing her boyfriend enter into a Master’s program, again – him leaving his own comfort zone and his friends to a brand new world, while his girlfriend is hours away in Florida. Situations also come where the boyfriend is still in college, used to going out with his boys but now changing his schedule to accommodate a long-distance girlfriend.

So what do you do? How to you work together to seamlessly flow together two lives in different states – but keeping each individual their own? I don’t want to fall into that trap of becoming THAT couple (you know which one, the couple that is always texting each other, always on the phone and can’t seem to establish a shred of independence or two distinct personality).

Where is the line between the proper amount of communication to keep a relationship strong, but not becoming fixated on one another? I see so many couples constantly tell the other how much the love and miss one another it almost seems to make the situation worse.  Is it age? When do you finally turn the corner and become an “adult” and have the maturity to handle the responsibility of a long-distance relationship?

What do you think? I hope this blog can become a bucket-list of advice for ways to handle long-distance relationship, please tell me your thoughts!

Check out the advice from readers on ways to make long-distance work!

Take a chance

It seems like with each passing day I need another list:

  • daily to-dos
  • work schedule
  • those whom I would like to reconnect
  • those whom I would like to meet
  • friends to call
  • OTHER OPPORTUNITIES

That last one? It’s a big one. And as a member of the Disney College Program, one of the most exciting.

One reason I would encourage everyone to take-part of the Disney CP is due to EVERYTHING this company offers! Chances to attend workshops, presentations, alumni speakers, volunteer activities, welcome events and more (look, another list!).

I wanted to focus this post on the importance of stepping outside of one’s daily routine and taking advantage of events around you. It seems like SO many don’t fully read a newsletter or an email and miss news about upcoming social events.

READ.THEM.

You read that right! In my opinion, things are constantly overlooked because people skim over or completely ignore helpful communication. Take ten minutes and read, and I mean reallllyyy read, a newsletter. (Also, as a communication major, I know how much time and talent is poured into those things! Why not go ahead and give them a read?)

After you find out about these amazing opportunities, go ahead and sign-up for one! One a college campus, on this program or in a professional office setting, there are so many new things to learn and try.

Worse-case scenario?

You don’t love it. Oh well. You spent a couple of hours of your life meeting new people, learning about something new and maybe even got free food.

Sounds like a win.

I think college students and young graduates are sometimes afraid to put themselves outside of their routine. And that fear may keep them from experiencing opportunities or learning about something new.

While I may sound like my mom for a moment, this is my advice as a recent college-grad and a girl who took a chance and is living in Florida and fulfilling her dreams for six months, maybe longer.

Attend workshops. Go to welcome events. See a flier for a open-meeting, go. First meeting for a club tomorrow at 7 p.m. with free pizza – take your two best friends and try it out.

You never know who you’ll meet or what you’ll learn.