Go the distance with a smile

Recently I posted a blog about long-distance relationships and the “joy” they bring. The phone  calls, the Skyping, the texting, working around two schedules and pretty much figuring out if the love is strong enough to cross miles.

Whole lot of ways to communicate – but there needs to be a balance. Couples can’t text too much and forgot to put down roots in their new town, but they also cannot forget that they are in a relationship and need to keep that strong.

Awesome. How could people possibly not love long-distance relationships?! However, the response to my first post was simply incredible. Distance can be across the country, thousands of miles away, states away, hours away or working with opposite schedules. One reader even shared her own form of “distance”: her husband travels two weeks out of every month and lives in her hometown the other week.

So how can you overcome the distance and still put-down roots in the new place? I know, personally, I am struggling with making Orlando my new home but remember my best-friends thousands of miles in Ohio. I want to establish myself with Disney and make Orlando my home, but I also have a boyfriend back in Ohio.

Make it work.

Here is a list of 10 tips & advice of handling long-distance relationships from readers:

 

1. Face the situation. You are now in a long-distance relationship and could (possibly) be in this situation for an extended period. It’s.going.to.be.FINE. Sulking, having a sad disposition, complaining and crying is going to hurt both people in the relationship and those around you.
2. Not telling the other person you miss them CONSTANTLY. Again, this puts a gloomy cloud on the entire relationship and stress on the relationship. Of course you miss the other person! Make sure you talk about other things besides the fact that you “miss” the other.
3. Set clear guidelines & expectations right away. What do you expect from the other communication/visiting/commitment wise? Seems like a pretty simple conversation, but it can be awkward to ask the first question. Are both people in the relationship aware that this is a serious and exclusive relationship and some time of communication is expected every day? The more you discuss at the beginning the less heartache you will have down the line.
4. Talk at least once a day – and try to really talk. Set aside fifteen minutes to focus solely on your boyfriend/girlfriend. Ask about their day, work, classes, plans for the weekend, friends, your day, your plans…anything! Talking about new things is a great way to keep the conversation moving and stops you from going back to the “miss you” statements.
5. Utilize all forms of communication. A quick text during your lunch break, a Skype date after a long day of work, a cute email waiting for the other Monday morning at work are all great ways to stay strong. It doesn’t need to be complicated, just from your heart.
6. Don’t be controlling or jealous. I’ll admit, this can be a hard one for me to remember. When the other person has plans when you don’t or can’t talk when it is convenient for you – it can be very hard to not get frustrated. Also, if your partner hangs out with a groups, large or small, and other girls/boys involved …again, that is ok. No jealousy! If there is no trust in your relationship it doesn’t matter if you’re one thousand, one hundred, ten or one mile away – the relationship will only prevail if there is 100% trust.
7. Have a date-night. Just because you are apart doesn’t mean you can’t do things together. Watch something together (one reader says she and her boyfriend stream a movie online every Thursday night at 6:00 p.m.) Or Skype during your favorite comedy show on Thursday night. It may seem silly and a little ridiculous, but it will keep your relationship strong and help keep that “alone” time strong. Couples can also play games together online and listen to music. My friend and her boyfriend have “music wars” when then Skype – she plays a song and picks a certain word in the lyric, and then he needs to find a song starting with the lyric she picked. Again, silly, but keeps the atmosphere FUN.
8. Support one another in all challenges and hurdles. Even when your partner is miles away, they still need your support, strength, respect and love during hard times. Be available to your boyfriend/girlfriend when they need you, and expect the same from them.
9. Have faith and include the other in your “new” life. You’re going to make new friends, both at work and in your personal life, and it may become slightly awkward when the two worlds meet. Let it be awkward and push through, the situation will become easier. It is OK to build your own life away from your partner – and then combine the two worlds.
10. Visit often and appreciate every moment together. I don’t even think this needs an explanation. Enjoy the time with the one who love, and keep the smile on your face when they leave. Life is supposed to be full of happiness, find joy everyday. long-distance relationships can and do work out.

“Distance never separates two hearts that really care,  for our memories span  the miles and in seconds we are there.  But when I start feeling sad,  because I miss you, I remind  myself of how lucky I am to have someone so  special to miss.” – This is the quote my boyfriend wrote to me in a letter that I received a few days after I moved to Orlando. This is what I remember when the days become a little rough, but the moment of sadness always passes and I now have my new Orlando family to to keep my strong.

Thanks for reading!

“Distance means so little when someone means so much”

This morning I dropped my boyfriend off at the airport to head back to Ohio after four fun-filled days in Orlando.

We hopped around some magical parks, ate at fantastic restaurants, saw beautiful fireworks and traveled around the world at Epcot’s Food and Wine Festival. It was a perfect five days and over way too quickly. Before I could blink, it was time to head back to the airport.

This is the second time I’ve embarked on a long distance relationship – the first occurring my freshman year of college. As much as I’d like to tell you that I was the mature woman I am today at the tender age of 18, I think we all know that is far from the truth. I grew both mentally and spiritually during my four years of college, so I feel that my relationship now is completely different.

Long distance.  Whooole lot of meaning packed inside two small words. Long distance can meet from Ohio State University to a branch campus, Columbus to Cincinnati, Ohio to Florida, Alabama to Florida and so many more. Trust me, between my myself, my friends and my new roomies have lived through it all.

We are trying to overcome not only miles between the ones we love – but also leaving a boyfriend/girlfriend in an old environment and entering a new situation. It’s hard when my boyfriend is now in a “big-boy” job and no longer living on campus while I’m over 1000 miles away in Florida. My roommate is also seeing her boyfriend enter into a Master’s program, again – him leaving his own comfort zone and his friends to a brand new world, while his girlfriend is hours away in Florida. Situations also come where the boyfriend is still in college, used to going out with his boys but now changing his schedule to accommodate a long-distance girlfriend.

So what do you do? How to you work together to seamlessly flow together two lives in different states – but keeping each individual their own? I don’t want to fall into that trap of becoming THAT couple (you know which one, the couple that is always texting each other, always on the phone and can’t seem to establish a shred of independence or two distinct personality).

Where is the line between the proper amount of communication to keep a relationship strong, but not becoming fixated on one another? I see so many couples constantly tell the other how much the love and miss one another it almost seems to make the situation worse.  Is it age? When do you finally turn the corner and become an “adult” and have the maturity to handle the responsibility of a long-distance relationship?

What do you think? I hope this blog can become a bucket-list of advice for ways to handle long-distance relationship, please tell me your thoughts!

Check out the advice from readers on ways to make long-distance work!